Why Your Person Is Worth the Wait

Valentine's Day has a way of making everyone feel like they should be coupled up right now. The pressure is real. But here's the thing about real connection, it doesn't work on a holiday schedule.

If you're in my Date-A-Base waiting for your match, I want you to know what's actually happening behind the scenes.

What I'm Really Doing When I'm "Searching"

When someone asks how the search is going, they might think I'm just scrolling through profiles looking for someone who checks the boxes. But that's not how this works.

I'm thinking about shared experiences. I'm considering communication styles. I'm remembering what you told me in our video chat that didn't make it into your profile. I'm asking myself questions like: Would these two people actually understand each other's lives? Do their values align in ways that matter? Will they appreciate how the other person sees the world?

Someone might look perfect on paper and still not be the right fit. Maybe their life stage is different. Maybe their approach to conflict would clash with yours. Maybe they're looking for something you're not offering, or vice versa.

This is why matchmaking takes time. I'm not just matching demographics. I'm matching actually living, breathing humans who have complex and interesting lives.

Why I Don't Rush Matches

There's so much pressure in this industry and society to match people quickly. Get them excited, get them on a date, move to the next person. But that's not what I'm building with Wayward Hearts.

I know what happens when matchmakers prioritize speed over fit. People show up to dates that feel like a waste of time. They lose trust in the process. They start to wonder if anyone is actually paying attention to what they said they wanted.

I'd rather you wait three months for the right introduction than go on five mediocre dates with people who were never going to be a good fit. And more importantly, don’t see you for who you are.

The matchmaking industry standard for second dates is around 35%. Wayward Hearts is doing significantly better than that. And that's not because I'm lucky or because my members are easier to match. It's because I take the time to get it right.

What You Can Do While You Wait

Waiting doesn't mean sitting around hoping. There are things you can do that actually help the process.

If I ask you to update your profile or clarify something, do it. Those details matter. If I reach out about a potential match, respond within a day or two. Good matches don't stay available forever.

Stay open to the process. Trust that I'm thinking about you even when you haven't heard from me in a while. And most importantly, keep living your life. Don't put things on hold waiting for your person to show up. The best matches happen when both people are already living full, interesting lives. In fact, I recently paused a membership because the person met someone great all on their own after signing up for a paid membership. I was so happy to celebrate her win of meeting someone she seriously wanted to date. That isn’t taking anything away from me and Wayward Hearts. She opened the door by being open to matchmaking, and within days she organically met someone who she felt had real potential. That is a win no matter how you look at it!

Your Person Is Out There

I know waiting is hard, especially on days like Valentine's Day when it feels like everyone else has found their person. But here's what I want you to remember, the wait means something.

It means I'm being thoughtful. It means I'm not matching you just to check a box. It means when I do introduce you to someone, there's a real reason I think you two will connect.

Quality matters more than speed. Your person is worth the wait. Happy Valentine’s Day, however you want to celebrate it.